Tuesday, January 26, 2010

One Love One Marriage

In today’s world where everything is open, where crime and Divorces are as common and on a rise; where ‘Living In’ is been deemed as safe; having multiple partners is seen as one's way of enjoying life - 'The True Meaning Of Marriage & Relationship Is Lost.' -  Just a dream, that can easily been blown away by the doubts, pressure and external forces that raise their heads out of nowhere - marriage is no more an eternal bond, but a strife to keep it going, to keep it together. What is supposed to be the most beautiful thing that God made for man, has over the period of time lost its color, and has turned ugly and grey.

Let me start here, where God made Eve - and I believe Eve was made for Adam and no one else, that is so obvious isn't it. And yet, how many of us forget that Eve was made out of Adam's ribs for Adam –
“But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

23 The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman, '
for she was taken out of man."

24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Let me take you from here to another area that bothers us – God's will for us in marriage. Is there any way we know that this is God's will for us? We make our own decisions and expect God to bless it. God will bless your marriage 'cause he loves you, but it won’t be the perfect will of God . Let me pause here a bit – hello, how many relationships have you had? There is a cut-off point for each one of us when we realize that it is God who has someone for us. For man – God has made a woman out of His own ribs. For woman, she has been made out of a man’s rib. And if you observe with God, it happened in His time.

And sadly many of us do not wait on God, for His time – to make all things beautiful. And the end product is this. We end up being broken and not prepared for the most beautiful thing called marriage. Even after marriage the past keeps clouding our mind, where we had given our heart to many. A heart is a piece of paper –save it for the one who deserves it. For it is GOOD.

I had a friend who got into a relationship. And every time I saw them together, I saw the most beautiful perfect couple. Five years down the line their relationship broke. WHAT HAPPENED HERE – too soon, they had gotten into a relationship even before they where 16. If it was in Gods Time, I am sure it would have ended up beautiful. But here I want to point out another factor.

7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16).

That my friend is the mistake all of us make. We choose on the appearance or what appears to be beautiful. And God knows, He understands, and surely He knows that it won’t last. And he will tell you in many ways – oh I am sure He speaks, and when he speaks you will hear loud and clear. But then, we are so blinded by the desires of our heart, and we are so wise in our own eyes; we forget Proverbs 3:5,6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

That my friend is the will of God right there for us, that we simply ‘Trust him’ with all our heart and lean not on our own understanding – He will make our Paths straight. KJ version says 'He will direct our path...'

If you know that it is not the will of God – do not continue in that path my friend, because that path ends in misery, pain and Divorce (if you are planning to marry even though you know it is not God's will). Just tell God to do His will, and get away from that path.
However, I have seen something else, when two believers do fall in love, their marriage ends up beautiful. Here too, I bethink it is the will of God. It might not be the perfect will, but submissive will. He loves us, and he will do the best for us. The plus point here is that both of them are IN TUNE with God, and it fits –somehow into God's plan for marriage. I will take you through a model I came across from ‘I MARRIED YOU’ by Walter Trobisch.

He refers to a triangle. Where the triangle has 3 ends point, each point connected with each other. The top point is God, the other two points is man and wife. Note, here, there is a distance between the man and a wife, but they end up in meeting on top –God. He also refers this as a tent, that it is so sacred that only three people are involved here. If any fourth person steps in, the tent inevitably gets destroyed. It can be even one’s parents, or children or someone else. No one must enter the 'Sacred Room', it’s simply God, man and his wife.

This beautifully explains that even after marriage, there will be distances and differences, but when both are in Tune with God, bang- that my friend is the perfect will of God in marriage. It is so important that both look up to God.


I always believed that God has someone made for each one of us. And in His time he will make all things beautiful. But before that He will reveal Himself to us. That’s how we will come to know Him – we will come to know Love – God is Love. And the most beautiful thing about His love is seen on the cross, after been spat upon, after been whipped, made fun of and tortured. He looks up and tells God- ‘Father forgive them, for they do not know what they do.’ I realized over the years that Love is not about that steering emotions and drive that makes you to fly. No, it isn’t about all those rosy things and those things that are so sweet. No, Love my friend is this- when you look at a person’s ugliest thing and yet, at that point choose to love them. That my friend is Love…it’s a choice we make and we stick by it. And that is what God did; He chose us first and loved us.

Let me conclude then, God has His Will for us in the book – Bible. Clear guidelines
2nd Corinthians 6:14,15,16

14Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people."

Find one who fears the Lord, one who thirsts for God. Watch out there are many fakers – you will know a man of God by watching His life, by the words He speaks, and more importantly, being in God’s presence makes one humble.

And it is so important that one builds their House on Prayer. It is that and that alone that will make the foundations strong. Proverbs 31:10 onwards speaks of a woman of prayer and she fears the Lord – she is wise and she makes her husband proud.

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

This is my prayer that God will build your house. And let not your life fade away, there are many ways to serve the Lord. Do not wait for God to push you; he is very gentle he won’t do that. But He will show you the way. Obedience is better than sacrifices, and that is how you will show him you love him. May God bless you and everything you do. God Is Good…

Gladwin Manuel


  1. Interesting sentiment but i feel you are avoiding 2 facts in this post

    1) divorce is a reality, and so is remarriage
    2) you have no control over another person's choices

    how do you fairly apply the allegory of the perfect Christ sticking with an imperfect bride in the case of 2 imperfect people?

    1. http://www.relationalconcepts.org/LinkClick.aspx?fileticket=DN0HccWNj0Q%3d&tabid=73